I Need to Get This Off My Chest | Michelle's Journals

Hi everyone,
I haven't blogged in a while, and that's because I was seriously considering just quitting blogging altogether. I haven't been into it for a while and last year it felt more like a job rather than the fun hobby it's supposed to be.

In the last couple of years of blogging I got caught up in the whole "oh shiny upcoming book that sounds really good [at the moment] so I'm going to sign up for this blog tour or say yes to this publicist to review this book" over and over. Sometimes I am able to immerse myself and enjoy the book, but more times than not I end up resenting it even if it's a book I'd usually enjoy. I've always been a mood reader and having to force myself to read books I just don't feel like picking up at that moment really killed my reading mojo.

Me, being a procrastinator at heart, would find all the excuses in the world to not read. But eventually I do still have to sit and read and review the book because that's what I signed up for to get this book in my hands. And needing to read instead of wanting to read sucks--it's like school all over again.

Still, I just kept signing up for more blog tours and accepting and requesting more review books. I couldn't stop because at the heart of it all I fucking LOVE receiving all those shiny new books in my mailbox or in my Kindle. It made me feel special and important when I receive an advanced reader's copy and get to read something months in advance before anyone else and I didn't want to give that up. 

But, blogging became a job--more work on top of everything else I have to do as a responsible adult--rather than the fun hobby it was supposed to be when I first started my blog back in September of 2009 (yep, I've been blogging for close to 10 years).

If you're a long time reader of this blog, you might have noticed that in the last couple of years, 85% of what I'm putting up are review posts and that's because most of the time I had not energy to put together anything else.

But, I had no one else to blame for the deterioration of my book blogging and reading enjoyment but myself.

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Finally, at the end of January this year, I made myself take a step back and reassess what I have been doing and feeling about book blogging (hence, my lack of posts these last two months).

And I've come to finally admit that my attitude towards review books is not healthy and it's affecting the great love of my life: reading. I needed to stop signing up for so many blog tours. I had to stop accepting invitations to review books. I needed to stop downloading/requesting books on Netgalley and Edelweiss.

So I did.

You guys, it's been AMAZING! It was such a huge weight off my shoulders and a relief not having these books hanging over me. And I am finally, FINALLY reading all those books on my shelf that I've been dying to read but didn't have the time to because I had to put review books first.

In March I read TWENTY books! I haven't read that many books in a month since I don't know when. In all of 2018 I was averaging 5-6 books per month and almost all of those books I was reading were review books. **smh**

You guys, I'm having the time of my life reading! I rarely watch Netflix now because I'd rather be reading. I'm falling so in love with reading again I could cry. I've been in such a reading high that last several weeks that I'm counting down until I get home from work so I can pick up my current read. I haven't felt this way about reading books in so, so long. It's such an amazing feeling and I want to keep feeling this way all through this year.

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Now, I haven't abandoned blog tours completely, but they are few and far between. I also do have books lined up for review, but it wasn't like before. I can pick them up pretty much at my leisure since most are unsolicited books.

As for book blogging in the future, I don't really know. I'll take this year to see how I feel about it, and then decide if I want to keep it up in 2020. I also still have my Bookstagram and I have to decide what I want to do with that as well.

The idea of walking away from book blogging altogether is so appealing right now. Reading whatever the heck I want and not having to write about it was so, so wonderful and freeing. Reading these days is such a big production with social media, and it's so great to just read for the sake of reading and nothing else.

But, we'll see.

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If you made it this far, thank you for reading. I needed to get all this off my chest and start anew. If I post about random stuff on this here blog after this post, it's just me trying to get my blogging footing back.

Until then...

Happy reading,

Michelle